A year gone by

If you're ever in the market for a natural birthing class, I would highly recommend the Bradley Method.

Besides everything that we learned, the friendships that we made through the experience (and the Bradley series is definitely an experience!) sustained me for at least the first 6 months after Roscoe was born, and they continue to hold a special place in my heart. It's funny how we barely even talked to each other during the 12 week course, week after week, hour after hour--sharing so much about our private lives during class-time yet otherwise keeping to ourselves.

On the night of our final class the walls came down. Maybe it was the 2 hour marathon of birth videos, which portrayed in no uncertain terms what it was that we were all about to experience. Despite our differences we were on the same path, and in that last hour of class we were a heap of swollen pregnant women united. In the weeks that followed there was very little contact between any of us until Lillian, the first of the babies was born. Then, in quick succession, the others followed: Evan, Sammy, Roscoe, Gunner, and Jonathan. And we were all mommas!

Once the kids arrived, the necessity of a good support system was clear and so we quickly organized ourselves. Every week for six full months we rotated houses, restaurants, and local attractions. In October, when a few of us returned to work, our routine changed to once-a-month potlucks that included all the dads too.

Lillian and Evan just celebrated their first birthdays and as the year comes to a close for the rest of us, our Bradley group is naturally dissolving. We've all evolved as parents, and families--three of us prepping for the next addition, and one family moving to the Hawaiian islands later this month. It's bittersweet to complete the first leg of what has been an amazing adventure, as we pioneer into the next.

As a group, we're as varied as they come but, we were brought together by our shared desire for natural birth. In the end, two babies were born at home, four in hospital, and two by c-section. Our individual birth stories offer quite a contrast! And while our parenting styles are connected on many levels, our practices run the spectrum.

One thing is certain: If ever I need a sympathetic ear or a bit of advice, I know who to call. Roscoe was born in the middle of the bunch, and so I have friends with kids directly in front of and behind him. In the first few months when every week brings huge advancements, I always enjoyed my visits with Heidi and Lillian because I got a sneak peek into whatever baby milestones and achievements there might be to look forward to in the weeks ahead. And it was fun to be in a position to give advice to my friends with the younger babies, especially in the beginning when otherwise I would be the very last person in the world asked to dispense advice about newborns! The important thing was that each woman offered something special to the rest of the moms.

It's no wonder then that I grew to depend so much on each of the other girls. And it makes sense now that our dependency on each other is waning. It's sad to think that many of the friendships we develop through our children will be stage-dependent. We're through our first year, and moving on.

Still, I sense that at least a few lifelong friendships have been established over the course of the past year, and I also know that my approach to mothering has been shaped by the other five Bradley moms. It has been extraordinary to have five other incredible women who are also fabulous mothers, to bounce ideas off of, to share the dark and the bright times, and to have the cherished opportunity to be a part of the lives (from their very start!) of five other beautiful babies.

Last Friday night, we convened for what may be our last Bradley get together. We went out as a group, without our babies, for a date night. It was weird not to have 6 little people to distract us in conversation, and the opportunity to delve into adult topics that we never ever seem to get around to when our attention is otherwise scattered in every direction.

I tried not to think about the fact that Katie is moving away, and taking our little Sammy-saurus with her. It makes me sad!!

We managed to eat a nice meal, drink pitchers (and more pitchers) of sangria, and stop at dairy queen on the way back to our houses. I was really hoping for a final photo to capture the group with one year under our belts, but of course I left my camera at home. I asked the cashier to take a few shots of us with our iphone, and unfortunately, this was what we got:

Blurred, with two husbands cropped out, and that is the best photo in the set!

At this point I think we've all become accustomed to imperfection, and plans gone awry, so in a way maybe this is a fitting end to an unforgettable beginning.