Sometimes, I think it's fair to say that my body image is that of my former self in 4th grade. As a kid I was a happy little chubster, unbeknownst to me until a friend's dad pointed it out. I did grow out of it I suppose, as I grew taller, but I've always struggled with my weight. No matter how much I actually weighed. Whether at 119 (Sophomore year of college) or 184 (right before Roscoe was born). The bottom line is that I am not one of those girls that can eat whatever, and do pilates to stay in shape. And I'm no novice when it comes to weight loss.
I've always been athletic--hungry for competition and built for physical endurance. I've rowed varsity crew, run marathons, played defense on the soccer field, stole bases in the ballpark, and refined my roundhouse with cardio kickboxing. I've trained with personal trainers many times over the years, for big events like my wedding, to rehab after Grave's Disease took its toll, and just for the fun of it. Physical fitness has over the years become much more than a hobby. It is a passion that in part defines who I am. So it is an understatement to say that I feel as if part of me has been missing since Roscoe was born. Despite what the scale says.
This is one of the larger reasons why life-after-baby has been such a challenge for me. My body is not what it used to be, both in function and form. My time is no longer mine--oh how I miss the days when the only thing standing between me and my workout was motivation. I miss logging hours at the gym. and I miss the satisfaction that comes from challenging my body to create visible change.
Results. That's what I strive for. I like to feel strong. I like to show off at the gym. I love to sweat, I love the burn, and....oh yeah, I REALLY love to eat. Generally speaking my downfall has been the way in which I consume calories in all their glorious forms. I could workout for hours and then compensate with the Crouching Tiger Roll at Sumo San or a sundae at Bev's. But that's where Weight Watchers has always saved the day. If ever I want to lose weight, I choose WW. It's easy, it's versatile, and it works.
With a new baby, meal planning and eating anything that is not made of convenience has hit a new low. And negotiating ways to feed Roscoe while away (i.e., paying the [breast]pump) has proven to be quite the challenge. However, now that we're getting a better handle on his night wakes I have been able to successfully pump each night--2-3 ounces total, but hey, it's a meal. And as I've already blogged, last month I signed up for a membership at LA boxing, so my goal is to attend three classes a week, and work in three sessions of weight training (in the garage).
So the one other thing that happened on New Year's Eve that I didn't mention in my previous post, occurred between eating dinner and falling asleep. As a first step toward reclaiming our before baby bodies, Andy and I bounded upstairs for a Get'n in Shape "before" photo shoot. Clothed and Unclothed. So we could be real about where we are. If I'm ever feeling brave I might post the clothed photos sometime, but only if I can follow them with after-shots to blow your socks off. We shall see! And we measured the circumference of every trouble spot we could find.
Then we worked out in the garage for some baseline performance measurements that were truly pathetic. Truly.
In preparation for this whole January 1 Resolution stuff, I made sure to eat my weight in cookies, chocolate, and eggnog over the holiday, and I do believe that I succeeded in fattening myself up by a few pounds. So my starting weight is 153.5. 11 pounds from my pre-baby weight, and 18.5 pounds from my goal weight. Why I always pick 135 as my goal weight, I don't know. Remember how I said I was a chunk as a kid? Well, that's what I weighed in 6th grade, 7th, 8th, and 9th grade. Anyway, it seems to be the weight that I naturally gravitate toward, and I found through experience that anything less is far too much work to maintain.
So, It's time to get serious and with the launch of McFatty Monday's hosted by Blair, I have the perfect venue to share with you yet another episode of my adventures in weight loss.
I'M GAME. Want to join us?
See you next week!
Thank you for this post! I can relate to you (except for the baby part). I, too, was a "chubster" and most of the time I still feel like that little girl...coming home from a hard day of being teased at school. It's time to break the mold I've made for myself. I've been preparing for it, but 2010...it is SO ON! I'm SO GAME with you!!
ReplyDeleteYES!!! Show me your game face!! :)
ReplyDeleteGood luck! We can do it!!! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by my McFatty Monday! I'll be checking in on you too! We can do it!!!
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