September 24, 2009

a mom-storm

I read about an upcoming production in LA and NY titled "Expressing Motherhood". To get a taste watch the trailer on the home page.

In the online store you can purchase a tote bag with one woman's written interpretation of motherhood.

Here's mine:

It's hard to capture the experience but it's fun to try! Plus, this is truly a snap shot--one mom's view after only four months. I'd love to see mom-storms from other mothers in different stages. It would be interesting to chronologically order them and consider the continuity as well as the diversity of our experiences.

It says a lot about the pressure moms can feel when I was compelled not to include some of the more down trodden emotions that sometimes define my reality. It's expected that motherhood is this beautiful experience where the good far outweighs the bad to a point that it feels like a disservice to your offspring to even think, or worse, say what your days are really like. Every positive emotion has an equally awful opposite, and even if they're fleeting, it's part of the package. And if I've learned anything yet, it is that a new mom swings from extremes day to day.

Of course Roscoe's my greatest product to date--he's my little masterpiece. But the person I was before I became his mother remains here beneath the spit up and rumpled sweat pants. With the birth of your child you are suddenly thrust into motherhood. and. it. can. be. hard. 9 months helps to prepare you, but NOTHING can prepare you.

Mothering is the ultimate paradox. Never in my life have I been more blissfully content while at the same time more utterly miserable. It makes my head spin, and I'm pretty sure that once mothering begins, it doesn't end until you are dead.

Which is why I will cling fondly to every moment that I get to be Roscoe's mom, and pray I won't lose myself in the process.

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