We're a nursing pair!!

Not surprisingly, Merritt's birth story is not as straightforward to write as I had hoped. In the meantime, I thought I'd provide an update on our nursing progress.

First let me say that we're lucky to have an entire staff of breastfeeding supportive nurses working with us. I knew I was in the right place when the nursing guru and aptly named "breast whisperer" was assigned to care for Merritt.

Andy and I were able to visit with Merritt for the first time about 2.5 hours after he was born. Because he was stable I was allowed to hold him skin to skin for about 45 minutes. I started pumping when we left the nursery and have been following an every 2 hour pumping schedule.

My hope was to provide him with exclusive breast milk, so I was disappointed when they wanted to begin feeding him yesterday morning and my milk hadn't yet come in. The plan we established was to pump whatever amount of colostrum/milk that I could, and then they would make up the difference with formula until I was able to provide enough for his full feeds.

My first two sessions resulted in a combined 1/5 of a cc of colostrum, and at the time he needed 5ml every 3 hours. Slowly but surely I've been able to pump more and more, and I am so proud to tell you that I'm now making enough milk to exclusively feed him, no supplementation needed. I feel like one awesome Momma! By tomorrow my milk should be flowing, and I hope to begin banking surplus.

To coincide with his feedings, I also get to nurse him. The Neonatalogist encouraged me to offer the breast for the first time yesterday morning and Merritt surprised us all and latched on with ease. I forgot how intense those uterine contractions are postpartum (way worse this time than last!). They radiate all through my back and down my legs, and yesterday actually required me to deep breathe through them. Needless to say, Ibuprofin has become an integral part of the routine.

It was difficult to meet Merritt for the first time in the context of the NICU. He didn't really feel like our baby, and it seemed as if we had been catapulted into the unknown. All the barriers presented by the environment seemed to challenge our ability to act on our parental instinct. It can be discouraging to have to ask permission to care for your baby: to feed him, to change his diaper, to be an active part of his daily routine. Negotiating for our priorities hasn't been as difficult as I thought it might be, but we have had to make some comprises as well and concede to those things which do not fall at the top of our must-haves list.

Nursing, as I might have guessed, allows us each to assume our respective roles as Momma and Baby, pure and simple, in the face of all this chaos. The hours we spend together, and even the time I spend pumping, are the highlight of my day.