Chloe girl

Chloe, our dog, had a seizure this morning.  It was her second in two weeks, but the first that we witnessed.

Gripped by convulsions, I was sure that she was dying. Afterward, she lay panting, frothing at the mouth, and the best we could do was to rub her and tell her that everything would be ok.

She tried to get on her feet, but fell down as she stumbled into the wall. I sensed her terror but was helpless. The hair on her back bristled and I felt then the same hesitation to trust her as I did the night that she wandered into our yard 7 years ago, a young pit bull with an unknown past.

The vet says that it is probably brain cancer and that we should expect the seizures to increase in frequency and severity.  We ran some preliminary tests that didn't offer any answers. We don't plan to order anything more to confirm or deny our vet's intuition.

Since Roscoe was born, the place that our pets held in our hearts has been filled-in with life stresses and parental responsibilities. Our focus and our priorities are so different now than before, and our jaded perception of pet ownership (animals captive in homes) looms large. (Does anyone else ever think of this is an odd phenomenon!?) We feel guilty every day over the seismic shift in our attitude and, as genuinely as we loved Chloe (and still do in so many ways), it's hard to admit.

Chloe has always been such a sweet and loyal dog, our little bully.  I often feel that she deserves so much more than we can offer her now, life is just so demanding.

Knowing that she is sick, now makes the guilt feel even heavier than before. Two whole years have elapsed. I hope that we have time to make it up to her.

Baby Speak

This is Roscoe's dog, Chloe:

This is his cat, Maggie-Moo:

Both our pets are rescues. We found Chloe wandering in our neighborhood one hot August morning in 2003. She had just given birth to puppies and had clearly been both abused, and neglected. Our intention was to nurse her back to health and then find a good home for her, but it didn't take long before her sweet demeanor won us over. A few months later we came across Maggie-Moo, who stole our hearts when she was just 7 weeks old.

Before Roscoe was born, one of the things that I really looked forward to was the relationship that he would share with his dog and his cat. Chloe snored through Roscoe's birth until the very end when his new cries startled her in her slumber, eliciting a series of barks that joyfully welcomed Roscoe into the world.

Less than an hour later, the introductions were made:

Maggie, on the other hand, kept her distance for quite some time. Only warming up to Roscoe in the last couple of months.

Roscoe's curiosity in his furry friends has blossomed into full-blown fascination. He searches for them. He calls for them. He chases after their tails, pulls at their legs, and lays with them on the floor of his nursery every chance he gets.

This week, in addition to crawling, Roscoe mastered his first words: cat, and dog. Of course he's been babbling da-da for a month or so, but he doesn't seem to be have associated the term with his Poppa.

dat = cat

a dah = a dog

Cute, right?! He even recognizes Chloe in photos. It's really very sweet to see him connect words to familiar things in his environment.

After searching for a book about "kitty cats", as we call them, I found one called My Little Noisy Book of Kittens, which is a board book with color photos of kittens and a "meow" button. Roscoe LOVES this book! He has many books that he really enjoys, but none quite like this one. He turns the pages on his own, and pushes the meow button, all the while laughing and flailing his arms and hands in excitement. He points out each kitten as he goes.

Some boys like trucks! Some boys like robots! Our boy loves kittens!

Christmas Giggles

Chloe loves to unwrap things. We've always found her to be entertaining, but this year she had a captive audience:

Does the sound of a baby's belly laughs ever get old? I hope not.

Today

Woke at 9:00 am
Hopped on computer
Worked until 12:00
Ate pancakes with blueberries for lunch and napped for an hour
Changed into tank top
Sat with Chloe on back stoop to sun and read documents for work
Went inside and worked some more
Logged off computer at 5:10 pm (felt very productive)
Took a walk for an hour and a half while listening to Eat, Pray, Love
Ate dinner with Andy, my parents, and grandparents
Went home
Got in bed
Blogged
Went to sleep.