A weekend alone, and other Gifts from the Sea

Roscoe, 3 years old

For a few weeks we've had an out of town trip planned for this weekend. I am on call for my mama clients, as I usually am, and my back-up happens to be out of the area as well, so I seized an opportunity for solitude and made the decision to stay home. Andy and the boys headed South to NC a couple hours ago, leaving me alone in my own home for the first time since becoming a mother 4.5 years ago.

I recently finished a short book called Gift From the Sea, authored by Anne Morrow Lindbergh, a mother who write's on "the shape of a woman's life" from a vacation cottage on Captiva Island. The beach and the shells she finds there inspire analogies that illustrate the chapters of her own experience, from the channelled whelk, to the double sun-rise, to the Argonauta.    

Anne's words read so plain and true. She declares the truth of my own conflicted energy as a woman and mother, a human being with responsibility and distraction. So poignant, the book resonated wildly in my own heart for weeks after I read it, mirroring my own experience through shared sentiments, with words that I've wanted to write but hadn't yet found.

Gifts from the Sea has inspired my intentions for the upcoming year in huge ways and, in the quiet peace of tonight, I want to share a little excerpt from the chapter titled Channelled Whelk:
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"For to be a woman is to have interests and duties, raying out in all directions from the central mother-core, like spokes from the hub of a wheel. The pattern of our lives is essentially circular. We must be open to all points of the compass; husband, children, friends, home, community; stretched out, exposed, sensitive like a spider's web to each breeze that blows, to each call that comes. How difficult for us then, to achieve a balance in the midst of these contradictory tensions, and yet how necessary for the proper functioning of our lives. How much we need, and how arduous of attainment is that steadiness preached in all rules for holy living. How desirable and how distant is the ideal of the contemplative, artist or saint—the inner inviolable core, the single eye.

With a new awareness, both painful and humorous, I begin to understand why the saints were rarely married women. I am convinced it has nothing inherently to do, as I once supposed, with chastity or children. It has to do primarily with distractions. The bearing, rearing, feeding and educating of children; the running of a house with its thousand details; human relationships with their myriad pull—woman's normal occupations in general run counter to creative life, or contemplative life, or saintly life. The problem is not merely one of Woman and Career, Woman and the Home, Woman and Independence. It is more basically: how to remain whole in the midst of the distractions of life; how to remain balanced, no matter what centrifugal forces tend to pull one off center; how to remain strong no matter what shocks come in at the periphery and tend to crack the hub of the wheel.

What is the answer? There is no easy answer, no complete answer. I have only clues, shells from the sea. The bare beauty of the channelled whelk tells me that one answer, and perhaps a first step, is in simplification of life, in cutting out some of the distractions. But how? Total retirement is not possible. I cannot shed my responsibilities. I cannot permanently inhabit a desert island. I cannot be a nun in the midst of family life. I would not want to be. The solution for me, surely, is neither in total renunciation of the world, nor in total acceptance of it. I must find a balance somewhere, or an alternating rhythm between these two extremes; a swinging of the pendulum between solitude and communion, between retreat and return. In my periods of retreat, perhaps I can learn something to carry back into my worldly life. I can at least practice for these two weeks the simplification of outward life, as a beginning. I can follow this superficial clue, and see where it leads. Here, in beach living, I can try."
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Happy Friday, and if you haven't yet read Gifts from the Sea, I hope it finds a way onto your Holiday wish-list. 

Color Inspired by Nature

The banks of the James river are one of my very favorite places to spend time. We have so many photos of our adventures in and around the River, wouldn't it be cool to use some of them to inspire an interior color palette for our new house? Here are a few photos from today.

Ward off the goblins with these nightlight lanterns

These little nightlight lanterns were inspired by a legend I discovered in the book I'm reading about Greek-American holiday. It says that during the time of the Dodecameron (December 25 - January 6) mischievous goblins called kalikantzari, who live beneath the surface of the earth and try to destroy the world's Good, emerge to disrupt people's lives with pranks and tricks, like spilled milk, disappearing keys, and broken glass.

Fire and light protect people from the kalikantzari and so on Christmas Eve a fire is lit to prevent the goblins from coming down the chimney. Sometimes bonfires are built in the villages of Greece, and people carry a candle with them at night for protection.

Looking ahead to December, I wanted the kids to have little vessels for candlelight, and this tutorial made for a special project we could work on together. 

Decoupage tissue paper on a clean jelly jar and let dry completely

Add 22-gauge wire around rim to form a handle, string the wire with beads and secure

Color changing LED lights are fire-free and plenty bright, we put more than one in each jar for a rainbow glow effect.

An Instagram preview of the lanterns at night

In December, we'll look forward to blaming any suspicious holiday chaos on the kalkantzari but, when nightfalls, and we're snuggled together in bed, we'll be protected from the brunt of their malevolence, safe by the light of our lanterns.

NaBloPoMo 2013

It's that time of year again. NaBloPoMo.

Views from my morning run

I blogged June 2012's NaBloPoMo and really, really enjoyed writing every single day.

I'm gearing up for hibernation. My current Bradley Method series ends this Sunday, and I have four doula client families giving birth between now and the beginning of January. I will be taking off the first four months of the New Year to pursue some little projects I've been wanting to dive into, as well as to complete my lactation course that has been in-progress for months. I'll be coming back in the Spring/Summer with exclusive MamaBorn offerings that will allow me to meet the needs of a broader range of clients.

Self care is at the top of my list right now, which includes a commitment to more writing. NaBloPoMo fits in nicely, nestled here in November. Writing every day tends to shift my focus from broody, crafted topic posts to lighter, more timely snapshots of life. Are you ready? I am!

I'm looking forward to ending the year with a slower pace, and welcoming 2014 with energy and creativity to do all the things I love most.

Meeting the Architect

Nature walk on the lot this afternoon

We interviewed a small architectural firm this morning to learn more about the costs and process of hiring comprehensive design services. This firm's portfolio includes a wide variety of projects ranging from historical adaptive reuse to all types of new construction, which fits our needs really well. We have a connection with one of the architects, Scott, and feel really good about hiring him.

At his request, prior to our meeting, we shared our Houzz ideabooks, which we continue to add to and refine, a written Program (or list and description of the spaces we want to design), and images of the original sketches we drafted mid-Summer. (We have since backed off from the literal barn translation, but the concept and floor plan still reflect our basic vision.) 

The Program list we shared included:

-House that ages gracefully
-Honest
-Simplest necessary form

-High quality, durable materials that underscore comfort and luxury
-Designed for efficiency in construction methods and materials, and functionality for daily living
-Encourages intimate family interaction

-Accommodates large gatherings for entertaining
-Natural, rustic feel paired with industrial elements
-Lets the site in (outdoors can be seen and experienced from inside through the hours of the day and seasons of the year)
-Designed for outdoor living

Specs:
-3 family bedrooms
-Office
-Guest bunks/area
-Carport
-Shed for storage
-Workshop outbuilding
-Fenced in garden

When Scott arrived we discussed our goals and values for our future home, received some good feedback about some of the more "out there" ideas we've had, and asked a lot of questions. The most pressing and curious of which, were the costs for services and structure of payment.

We learned that the architectural design process happens in two phases: 

Phase 1: Drafting the Schematic Drawing, to include a final floor plan and elevation. This phase takes about 6 weeks, depending on how decisive and quick Andy and I can be, and is billed by the hour. Cost estimate: ~$4,500.

Phase 2: Design Development, to draft construction documents that specify all details like building materials, finishes, paint selections, etc. This phase takes about 10 weeks and is billed in monthly installments. Estimated cost $10,000-$15,000.

Somewhere in there we may have to pay a structural engineer ($3,000) to review our final plans.

We are pleased with these numbers as many firms base their fees on a percentage of construction costs, and these estimates are considerably lower than we expected.

We're still waiting on the Seller who owes us a county Certification Letter for the septic system, which is way, way, overdue. After that, we will check in with the County about progress related to abandonment of the Henrico owned land, then broach the subject with the Seller to request additional time before closing.

Next Steps: 

1. Close on the property, and buy back the land owned by Henrico County (Eek, so many fingers crossed on this one!)
2. Walk the property with our architect, to consider the best way to site the house
3. Begin the first phase of the design process: Schematic Drawing

Feed the Birds: a classic craft for every kid (even those with nut allergies)

Every year we make an offering to the birds and squirrels that share outdoor space with us. Similar to last year's sticks-in-the-dirt craft, we used peanut butter to adhere birdseed to some leftover bagels that we hung like ornaments in the trees and bushes around the backyard.

I spread out all the ingredients, shared some direction about the steps needed to build the feeders, and then gave them space to do their work.

I helped them cut and tie the string with a knot at the top so the bagels could be hung on branches. (On second thought we could have just strung the branches through the holes in the bagels.) Roscoe favored a small tree in the back corner of the yard and hung most of them there.

Proud face

The next morning, when we set out into the yard with high hopes to find evidence that the squirrels had visited, we were surprised to discover just one piece of string lying under the tree. All the bagels were gone. Every. Single. One! The kids were ecstatic.

If you want to join in on the fun you'll need:

• A bag of wild bird or squirrel food, we buy variety mixes at Target or the local grocery store.
• A fat to adhere the seed, we use peanut butter. (If your little guy or gal has a nut allergy you can substitute lard, suet, or SunButter (made from sunflower seeds).) 
• An object to which you can spread the fat. Try pine cones; gathered sticks; toilet paper rolls; bread slices, rolls, or a baguette; whole or pieces of fruit. 
• String to hang the feeders: twine, yarn, or ribbon. Or not! You can also lay them out in rows or piles on a bench, chair, or in a flower pot; or nestle them in the little nooks and crannies of your yard. There are no rules! 

Pumpkin Spice Cake with Vanilla Bean Cream Cheese Icing: recipe reveal

I've blogged this Pumpkin cake before, and referenced it in many posts over the years.

It is so incredibly good and by now I've made it my own, so are you ready to hear what's in it?

Pumpkin.  

Cozy.

dFreshly grated nutmeg.

Christmas.

Vanilla bean paste.

Heaping teaspoonfuls of cinnamon, clove, and allspice.

Joy.

Oh, and some butter. 

The cake is dense, spicy, and moist. It's full of flavor and not too sweet.

A fluffy vanilla bean cream cheese icing raises the charm and sophistication of this otherwise humble little spice cake.

Pumpkin Spice Cake with Cream Cheese Icing
1 cup unsalted butter at room temperature
3 1/4 cups cane sugar
3 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla bean paste (or extract)
1 heaping teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 heaping teaspoon clove
1 heaping teaspoon allspice
1/2 freshly grated nutmeg pod (or 1 teaspoon ground, heaping of course)
1/4 teaspoon sea salt (or kosher)
~2 cups pure pumpkin, canned or fresh (~15oz.)
2 1/2 cups all purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda

1. Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees.
2. Grease and flour a bundt pan.
3. In a stand mixer cream butter and sugar; mix on medium until it starts to form a crumbly mix, then turn up the speed to high for 2 minutes until light and fluffy. Scrape the sides of the mixing bowl.
4. One at a time, beat in each of three eggs. Scrape the sides of the mixing bowl. 
5. Add vanilla bean paste, nutmeg, cinnamon, clove, allspice, sea salt, and pumpkin. You can't add too much spice! Mix on medium speed until everything is well combined. 
6. Add flour all at once, with the baking soda, and stir on the lowest setting until it begins to form a batter, then increase the speed to high for 5 or 6 seconds. The batter should be well combined, but take care not to over-stir!
7. Pour into prepared bundt pan.

Bake at 350 for 55 minutes, plus or minus 5 minutes. Check for doneness at 50 minutes and keep a close eye. If a knife inserted into the middle comes out with a few crumbs on it, then it's just right.

Let the cake sit for a half hour, and then do your best to plop it out of the pan. If part of the top breaks off you can just nestle the pieces back into their spot and frost over it.

While you wait for the cake to cool turn your attention to the icing.

Cream Cheese Icing
16 ounces cream cheese, 2 packages, room temperature
1 cup unsalted butter, room temperature
32 ounces powdered sugar, 2 boxes
Two tablespoons vanilla bean paste (or extract if you don't want vanilla seeds in your icing)

1. A half-recipe will cover an entire bundt cake with a nice layer of icing, but the amount specified here will give you plenty to pile high on the cake, and enjoy by the spoonful too. 
2. Using a whisk attachment beat cream cheese, butter, and vanilla bean paste on medium until they start to come together, then mix on high speed until well combined. Scrape the sides of the mixing bowl.
3. Add powdered sugar on a low speed to avoid a powdery sugar cloud in your kitchen. Once it begins to combine you can whip it on high for a few minutes until the icing is smooth and airy.

Allow cake to cool completely before icing it, at least a couple hours. To get the hand-frosted look use a butter knife or frosting spatula to spread the icing over the cake to provide full, even coverage. Just move the icing around until you think it looks pretty.

I think the cake tastes best after I let it sit for 12-24 hours before cutting into it. This gives the icing a chance to hang with the cake, soak into it a little bit, and develop an eggshell thin crust, which offers a nice texture.

Enjoy!

How to Have a Happy Holiday

It's November!  Thanksgiving and Christmas are up next. How will you make the most of this Holiday Season?

I wrote this post for RichmondMom. You can read the full article here. 

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One reason the Holidays bring so much joy is because this time of year is ripe for opportunities to share and receive gratitude. The rhythms and rituals of the season give us reason and permission to slow down, feel, connect, and reflect on all the good things that are right in front of us. In the company of our best friends and family we are filled with nostalgia for time we’ve shared together, and moved to create experiences that foster a sense of familial continuity and belonging.

This year, revel in the goodness of your life by taking time to practice gratitude in ways that will invite joy into your holiday season.

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