R & R, & R

To celebrate our anniversary we planned a weekend getaway to Fort Lewis Lodge. It was our first time leaving the DC area since Roscoe was born, and it doubled as our first family vacation.

We left early Friday morning and arrived in the Shenandoah Valley around 3:oo pm. What should have been a 4 hour drive turned into 7 hours with a lunch break, and several pit stops to execute diaper changes, nap routines, and otherwise entertain our little passenger.

The drive West was gorgeous once we exited the interstate, and it was hard not to appreciate the quintessential Virginia landscapes. Fort Lewis Lodge is tucked away on a 3200 acre plantation that is truly breathtaking. We rented an adorable cabin for our stay.

Once unpacked and settled in we set about to explore the property which offers a lush outdoor oasis complete with a swimming hole, fishing spots, hiking trails, and even loaner bikes available for romantic rides through the countryside. We stuck mostly to walking along the riverbed, relaxing on our porch swing, and hanging out at Buck's Bar overlooking the fish pond. Roscoe loved Tucker and Sam, two yellow labs who are lucky to call the lodge their home.

The main event for us was the food, which was downright incredible. Home cooking at its best, and served buffet style in a cozy rustic dining room. Every morning a full spread of breakfast was served, then dinner in the evening. Roscoe went to bed each night around 7:00, and after carefully tucking him in we dilly-dallied outside our cabin until the dinner bell rang at 7:30. Then we left him sleeping soundly to enjoy some time alone. In a record breaking achievement we had two dates in one weekend! Seriously, it's crazy how much fun we had.

The second day we drove to Hot Springs and spent the afternoon at a park overlooking The Homestead, where we shared a picnic lunch under clear skies--despite an ominous forecast of thunderstorms. After dinner that night we joined two other couples by a roaring fire underneath an open air pavilion. The rain was pouring so hard at times it was hard to hear our own voices. We felt like two kids at camp when we had to run full blast through the rain and back to the safety and warmth of our cabin. The familiar clicking of Roscoe's swing, and his easy breathing was a reminder of how far we've come in the last 11.5 years. A lot has changed since we were teenagers skipping school together, and posing for prom pictures.

We slept so well both nights, and napped when Roscoe napped during the day. If it's humanly possible to "catch up" on sleep, we did our best.

Our mini vacation made us realize that Roscoe has become quite adaptable. I worried some that he'd sleep poorly in a different environment, or refuse to nap in the car--one of his favorite pastimes. But he surprised us and did neither of those things! It also gave us our first taste of membership in the "parent club". It seemed that most guests at the lodge last weekend were on a "getaway" from their children. We happened to bring ours with us, but it was fascinating how easily we connected with everyone over the shared experience of family.

Roscoe was a ham, demonstrating his ability to wave hello and goodbye, pointing out the "dogs" that were actually mounted raccoons and foxes, and repeating the word car at least 20 times over breakfast one morning.

Another important realization: we miss the pair "Andy & Jacqueline". There's nothing like spending a few hours sans baby to realize how much we love each other's company. Poppa & Momma are front and center most days, and we don't often see the playful, romantic side that used to be woven into our everyday.

It was a joyful adventure to vacation as a family. I can think of so many reasons to visit Fort Lewis Lodge again. I have a feeling that this may become our secret spot. Shhh! Don't tell anyone!

Five years down, ninety-five to go.

Lodi, California April 29, 2005

Let the music play

When I first began to write this post at the start of last week, a girlfriend of mine was due to give birth to her daughter in a matter of days. I have been thrilled for her since the day she found out she was expecting. Heck. I was thrilled when I caught wind that she was considering the idea of getting pregnant. In the months that preceded my efforts to conceive Roscoe, I actively tried to recruit her to join me in my pursuit to become a momma, because it's more fun with friends, right!? To no avail. Nevertheless, shortly after Roscoe was born she announced that she was pregnant. Remember her baby shower? She and her husband live directly across the street from us and over the last few weeks, between our two houses, anticipation has been building.

The days leading up to their birth-day got me thinking about how we felt this time last year, suspended in the quiet before the storm. I often muse that we had no appreciation for the true magnitude of what was about to hit us.

Spring makes me happy and April 2009 brought a warmer, brighter, and fresher season. At nine months pregnant I still had tight control over time. We slept late, eating up the peaceful calm that had blanketed our very existence as we anticipated the birth of our son. We showered at will, exercised nightly, and found plenty of time for reading, laughing, and connecting.

Sleep, control, autonomy, self maintenance--we took them all for granted.

If you had asked me at the time, there was nothing I would have wished we had done "before kids", except to indulge in a little international travel. And truthfully, I imagined that there was plenty of time for such things, later. What I could not have known was that our child would have sleep issues necessitating that we remain close to home. That we would not so much as leave the area--not once!--in the 11 months following his birth, for fear of disrupting the established routine. Or the role that time zones and unfamiliar environments might play against our carefully crafted norm.

Looking back, I wish I had taken just some of that extraneous time to soak up and relish in the everyday little things that now I can't put a finger on, even if I wished with all my might: sleeping when I'm tired, eating when I'm hungry, having space to retreat when I need to be alone, or finding time to cross off even one or two items from my to-do list each day. As my friends can attest, answering email with a response time of less than 10 days is nothing short of a miracle.

Some nights I have ambitious dreams about how it would feel to wake up truly rested, or what it would be like to have an entire day spread out before me and the power of choice combined with opportunity to engage in any activity or nothing at all. These days, the chance to focus on any one thing in increments greater than 2 minutes is a rare and savored moment--now that Roscoe is mobile, and vocal, keeping him content and occupied remains a challenge. It's an exception to the rule when I'm able to step away from him for more than a few minutes at a time--on cue his screeches and hollers, or adventurous endeavors, demand my hasty return.

This all goes without mentioning the daily balancing act that is, for lack of a better word, unfair--not everyone gets everything they need (well, two out of the three of us, anyway) and avoiding feelings of guilt and deficiency is the challenge of the day when I realize how unevenly my time is divided between Roscoe, Andy, work, and those precious few hours in the evenings that I carve out for myself--primarily to exercise--so that the non-momma "me" doesn't disappear completely as a result of giving everything to the point of leaving nothing.

Thursday night, coinciding with the frenzy of last minute packing--because we finally worked up the nerve to take a vacation (!)--Melissa went into labor. Actually, she'd been in the early stage of labor for well over 24 hours, but the contractions were finally becoming regular at 7 minutes apart. I remember the start of my labor with Roscoe as both thrilling and terrifying.

We've seen each other through the joyful turbulence that is trying to conceive and carry a baby. So it was a sweet twist of fate that I had the opportunity to offer support during those late night and early morning hours.

Birth is a Herculean feat that demands so much from the body that gives it, yet remains a force all its own. There is a certain trust that we can have in ourselves to safely bring our babies into the world. It is hard to put into words the warm fuzzies that Roscoe's birth elicits, and I continue to be inspired with awe by the birthing process. Being present for part of Melissa's journey to bring Kaleigh into the world was no exception. She was as calm and in control as they come.

I walked back to my house and crawled into my bed around 3:00 am, with the start of our first family vacation looming just three hours ahead (more to come on this)! Despite our best effort to disconnect from the hustle of dc suburbia, we were glued to the iphone all weekend, dying for news. Baby Kaleigh was born on her due date, Friday the 23rd, at 9:30pm.

Babies bring a state of constant change. They change our routine, our perspectives, our love, and they alter our reality. As parents we willingly give up so much, and without a second thought, to ensure that our kids thrive. Those first few moments, hours, days, even weeks--they are blissful. And before you know it, Reality marches in, bringing with it the 24-hour demands of perhaps one of the greatest relationships we'll ever know, and a challenge to strike balance as we foster a new family dynamic.

For me, the first year has been somewhat a blur. So much gets put off, or left behind, as you work to stay afloat. Now that the dust has settled, we're eager to refocus more of our energy on each other and our marriage, and all the little things that collectively combine to create sanity and a sense of control in our lives.

Our friends have so much to look forward to, and they will be challenged in ways that will make them grow. I imagine that their journey will be no less extraordinary or profound. If they aren't already, they soon will be dancing and singing to the tune of Little Kaleigh who will without a doubt rock their world.

McFatty Monday Week XVI: C+

Ohh, where to begin!

I started the week off strong with my new personal trainer, Amy. I may have mentioned it before, but I have two gym memberships. One at LA boxing, and another at a local Powerhouse. I joined Powerhouse when I was 7 months pregnant and then, when Roscoe was born, I left, never to return...until about a month ago in what was the very last week of my membership. I renewed because the gym is closer to my house, and is better equipped for weightlifting. And they have daycare, which gives me more options. I can never have enough options when it comes to exercise, especially now. Anything that makes it easier to work out is a plus.

Anyway, Amy's going to sculpt my body through weight lifting over the next 8 - 10 weeks. I met with her Monday and Wednesday and we worked my legs, chest, and back. Tuesday I took off, Thursday I kick-boxed, and Friday through Sunday we were out of town. I ate like I was on vacation, so I didn't really feel like weighing in this morning. I'm hoping that by the time next week rolls around my body will have readjusted after three days of feasting. In an attempt to try to make up for it I trained with Amy at 6:00 and then managed to also attend a 7:45 boxing class.

The rest of the week will consist of Tuesday night and Saturday morning with Jennifer (eek!), and Friday boxing.

No training program could possibly be complete without a "clean" and protein-packed diet (or so I've learned). In my experience, a body-building diet is a diet of the very worst kind: chicken breast, green beans, egg whites, protein shake, repeat. Just writing that rubs my palette the wrong way! This time, my trainer pointed me in the direction of Max Muscle and their "Nutritional Blueprint". I've never been a fan of Max Muscle--I don't mind a protein shake here and there, but I don't buy into the effectiveness or the necessity of non-FDA regulated supplementation.

Begrudgingly, I filled out my intake form over the weekend, and had my consultation this morning. I've been less than impressed with the diets that my former trainers have suggested so I wasn't feeling very optimistic, but after meeting with the sports nutritionist (which is a step in the right direction) I am oddly excited and actually looking forward to getting started. I've been following weight watchers for so many weeks now, and frankly, my dedication and enthusiasm is waning. I think it's time to switch things up a bit. Now I must wait for Friday, when I will receive my four week plan. I'll let you know how it goes.

I also realized we're in the 16th week of McFatty Monday which means I owe some measurements and a photo. I will work on that for next week, but I don't think much has changed since my last report.

This week's score: C

Strength Training: A

Cardio: C

Weight Watchers: C+

PS. Countdown to TTC #2: 6 weeks!

More Parks Please!

In my recent pursuit of quality local parks I struck gold when I discovered this brand new one "for future marines" and part of the National Marine Corps Museum. It has a tot lot, an obstacle course-inspired playground for older kids, and a swing set with baby seats. The location is heavily wooded, which offers a lot of shade, has a picnic area, and includes a fitness trail.

We've been several times already!

Tot Lot

Oh, hello.

Roscoe & Poppa

Roscoe & Momma

Prepare for a thrill!

Whooooeeee! (Roscoe's only slightly impressed)

A visit to the park is not complete without a parking lot diaper change.

Roscoe's thighs are contemplating the start of a mini version of mcfatty monday!

I scream! You scream! Roscoe screams for ice cream!

I finally figured out that just down the road lives a seasonal shack serving up some pretty tasty soft serve. I ordered a small and it was so good that I was compelled to order a second, but everyone else (who ordered larges, of course) pooh-poohed my desire for more.

We let Roscoe have his first baby-sized bite of ice cream, and based on his reaction I think he agreed that it hit the spot.

McFatty Monday Week XV: D

For the past 15 weeks I've been chronicling my journey from new momma to ms. hard body. My greatest strength, when it comes to making time for exercise, is knowing the kinds of activities that I enjoy and not wasting my time on anything else. I love activities that engage my entire body and demand endurance. I enjoy them so much that even if the day has been long, or my mind feels like mush, I am motivated to throw on my workout clothes and get myself to the gym. The 30 minute drive also gives me an opportunity to listen to my music, unwind, and regroup--something that all momma's deserve!

I joined LA Boxing back in December, and it's been really satisfying to belong to a specialized club focused solely on one sport. Every class is lead by a seasoned professional boxer, so not only are the workouts awesome, but the teachers are passionate and offer constructive criticism to help us become more efficient.

I'm no novice when it comes to personal trainers, so when Tate offered to give me a taste of personal training--boxing style--I was very excited! He paired me up with Jennifer "The Bolivian Queen" Salinas, a professional boxer with a record of 11-1. She is gorgeous and the only female boxer/trainer at my location. She leads a mean class on Saturday mornings.

I like Jennifer for so many reasons, including the fact that she tandem breast fed her two kiddos, and started training for her last fight (a knockout) just months after giving birth to her son.

She's quite a force, so I was a little nervous to train with her for the first time.

I arrived at 5:45, ran for 10 minutes and then stretched while I watched the tail end of a training session with another client--she's booked solid most nights of the week! When it was my turn, I climbed into the ring and pointed to my camera explaining that I wanted to film some of our work. She was into it, so I wrapped my hands, and donned my gloves!

After jumping jacks and a good stretch, we started boxing rounds.

Jennifer called out combinations and corrected my form in real time. In class, I find this face-to-face combat a challenge. I completely lose my concentration when there's a live person looking me in the face yelling combos and demanding "more power!", "more speed!", "faster!", "harder!". Not to mention keeping track of the combination while also coordinating my lower body to move in the right direction and without crossing my feet. During the training session I learned that I aim my punches too low and that I slouch. Oops! There's always room for improvement. And the cardio involved in executing three minute rounds is intense!

Next we were on to squats with weight plates, and leg raises. Then sprints (x 20) with more squats, standing rows, and then....ABS. In boxing, you really rely on your core a lot--so it better be strong. Absorbing impact with your abs is common, so we did an exercise where I contracted my abs and she thwacked me in the belly with her special mitts. I had never done this before so when you watch the video, don't laugh at me!! I think you can tell by the look on my face that I was thinking about my poor stomach, first stretched into oblivion carrying Roscoe, my abs separated during the pregnancy, and now pummeled. Will you cut me some slack? Pretty please?

Ok, then we began planks. On a ball. With a weight on my back. and along came Jennifer to poke at the ball to throw in an extra element of challenge. Round two, she came at me with those mitts again! After that, we did more abs, and then a thorough stretch.

About the time that I finished with sprints (30 minutes into the workout) I was feeling ill. Those one minute breaks just weren't enough!

Here's Jennifer:

Here's a training video I put together to give you a sample of my first session:

I lost .5 this week, which is better than staying the same, and way better than gaining! Training with Jennifer was so much fun. Her story is motivating, and her personality is infectious. I was sore for the three days that followed, which is always nice, and I'm looking forward to our next session!

This week's score: D

Cardio: B

Weight Watchers: C

Strength Training: F

Roscoe is Eleven Months Old!

We ain't seen nothing yet

During phase one of Roscoe's bedtime ritual, he sat in the tub preoccupied by a series of photos that hang on the wall. A friend took them at a "bon voyage" party thrown for us a few days before we flew to Kauai in 2008. Andy and I are wearing our leis, and laughing.

Roscoe was chanting "da-da, da-da, da-da", while looking up at the photos and pointing. When I confirmed that the pictures were of Momma and Poppa, he began to fuss, scrambling up the side of the tub and clawing at my arm. So I hoisted his wet little body up and over to the picture frame.

His chubby cheeks dimpled as his face lit up with a toothy grin--his top two teeth popped through just a few days ago! One photo at a time he pointed to each of us, with his little index finger straight as an arrow. Then, after a pause he'd exclaim, "tat!" and then wait for me to say "poppa" or "momma".

Isn't it fun how much celebrating takes place in the first year of life when the most basic and primitive functions of human behavior produce such a thrill? Is this what proud feels like? I can't imagine then, what I will feel when Roscoe learns to run, or form a hypothesis, or demonstrates good manners.

Tonight, Roscoe's first birthday is on my mind. I'm so looking forward to throwing a special party, just for him, in celebration of all the big and little milestones that he has achieved in his first 365 days.

Warm weather treats

During a quick trip into the city last week, Roscoe and I finally got to sample the outrageous gelato offered at Dolcezza. I've passed by the tiny store front so many times, and on this particular day we found ourselves with time to spare before the rush hour frenzy began, so we decided to stop in.

The gelateria has an all-white interior with windows that open out right onto Wisconsin. Their menu is fantastic and changes weekly. The Argentinean gelato is handmade every morning with locally farmed ingredients, and the result is a dream that I haven't been able to get out of my head since.

If you're in the area, go. now. You'll be very happy you did.

Next time I visit, which will be soon, I promise to also try one of their signature churros. Golden pastries stacked high, filled with dulce de leche, cream, or chocolate. Oh my god. Yes!

Baby Speak

This is Roscoe's dog, Chloe:

This is his cat, Maggie-Moo:

Both our pets are rescues. We found Chloe wandering in our neighborhood one hot August morning in 2003. She had just given birth to puppies and had clearly been both abused, and neglected. Our intention was to nurse her back to health and then find a good home for her, but it didn't take long before her sweet demeanor won us over. A few months later we came across Maggie-Moo, who stole our hearts when she was just 7 weeks old.

Before Roscoe was born, one of the things that I really looked forward to was the relationship that he would share with his dog and his cat. Chloe snored through Roscoe's birth until the very end when his new cries startled her in her slumber, eliciting a series of barks that joyfully welcomed Roscoe into the world.

Less than an hour later, the introductions were made:

Maggie, on the other hand, kept her distance for quite some time. Only warming up to Roscoe in the last couple of months.

Roscoe's curiosity in his furry friends has blossomed into full-blown fascination. He searches for them. He calls for them. He chases after their tails, pulls at their legs, and lays with them on the floor of his nursery every chance he gets.

This week, in addition to crawling, Roscoe mastered his first words: cat, and dog. Of course he's been babbling da-da for a month or so, but he doesn't seem to be have associated the term with his Poppa.

dat = cat

a dah = a dog

Cute, right?! He even recognizes Chloe in photos. It's really very sweet to see him connect words to familiar things in his environment.

After searching for a book about "kitty cats", as we call them, I found one called My Little Noisy Book of Kittens, which is a board book with color photos of kittens and a "meow" button. Roscoe LOVES this book! He has many books that he really enjoys, but none quite like this one. He turns the pages on his own, and pushes the meow button, all the while laughing and flailing his arms and hands in excitement. He points out each kitten as he goes.

Some boys like trucks! Some boys like robots! Our boy loves kittens!

McFatty Monday Week XIV: D

No losses, no gains and I'm holding steady at 146. It's a relief, actually, after a not so good week. I started off strong, but didn't count points over the weekend. I'm not sure why.

To remind myself how far I've come since Roscoe was born, I pulled up my graph from Weight Watchers Online:

37 pounds total. Not bad!

I also enjoyed cooking several recipes from Secrets of a Skinny Chef, including macaroni and cheese with shredded chicken and cauliflower (only 6.5 points for a cup and a half!), butternut squash soup with coconut, salmon with a peanut-ginger glaze, and I made granola bars for the first time ever! Roscoe is more or less eating everything now, so he got to join in on the fun too. More yummy recipes slated for the upcoming week. I seem to be able to find time to cook again, which is a huge relief because I really missed it!

As for the gym, I'm still on 4 days a week at la boxing, and after negotiating prices with a personal trainer I'm now deliberating what schedule will make the most sense. The girl I plan to train with (I've never trained with a girl before!) suggested 3 1-hour sessions each week for 8 weeks. Honestly, I'm not sure that I can fit in 4 boxing sessions and 3 weight lifting sessions given that I have Roscoe during the day, and typically box four out five weeknights--unless I want to give up both weekend days and one morning during a day that I'm not already scheduled to work. Not to mention that lifting with a trainer and THEN boxing in the same day probably won't allow for very much recovery between workouts.

So for now, my plan is up in the air. I'm curious what kind of results I would see with 3 boxing and 2 weight lifting sessions--which just sounds a lot more reasonable. The most important thing to me is to maximize the time that is left between now and early June. I want results, so maybe I'm willing to endure a maniacal schedule knowing that it won't last forever. But some days I feel like Andy and I both need every bit of time we can find to relax and visit with each other, so I can't decide.

To recap my goals for the next couple months (but geez, I hope it doesn't take that long):

Goal 1: 142.5 (what I weighed the day I found out I was pregnant with Roscoe)

Goal 2: 138 (what I weighed the day I married Andy--5 years ago, THIS month!)

Goal 3: 135 (just for fun, a nice round number)

This Week's Score: D

Cardio: B

Weight Watchers: D

Strength Training: F

Man on the move

Roscoe started "crawling" on Tuesday!

I love how after he makes it through the tunnel he first waves (to his fans), then claps in approval!

Could it be?

When his Grandma has hair like this:

and his Aunt has hair like this:

(not to mention the Corona)

When his Uncle has hair like this:

(circa 2001)

and his Dad has hair like this:

Should I be surprised that Roscoe woke up from his nap with hair like this:

and this:

See the little duck tails? Over the past few days his hair has been changing! I have super straight hair, but the odds are good that Roscoe will have curls.

What do you think? Is this the beginning of something adorable?

Good lesson, cute package

In addition to a basket full of Easter chocolate, which Momma and Poppa happily devoured for him, Roscoe also received from his Grandparent's a great book called I Love Monkey.

The book begins with a little monkey, in socks, who really wants to be something special. He tries to be a bunny, but finds that the role is "too floppy". He tries to be a cucumber but decides that it is way "too cool". He continues to try on different roles that just don't feel quite right to Monkey.

My favorite is when Monkey tries to be sushi:

You can probably guess how the book ends. Monkey has "a wonderful thought" that perhaps if he can't be any of those other things, then he can be "one very special thing"--himself!

McFatty Monday Week XIII: D+

Last week was a good week. I made it a priority to create meals at lunch and dinner (instead of foraging for and assembling random plates). The extra effort paid off in that I felt a lot more satisfied after eating, and much more willing to forgo snacking in between knowing that I had something tasty and filling to look forward to at my next meal.

The past month was not a terrible success as far as weight loss goes. I started the month at 147lbs and ended at 146lbs. HMPH!! Still, I did lose 1/4 inch from my arms, 1 inch from my hips, and another 1/2 inch from my thighs. So, that's nice!

After following Weight Watchers to the letter last week, and only losing 1 pound, I'm convinced that the number of points that I've been allotted overcompensate for the amount of nursing that I do. I'm troubleshooting, and have cut my daily points by 3 to see if that makes a difference. I hope so!

I am also in the process of signing up for personal training which is going to ratchet my strength training (and my metabolism) into high gear. Unfortunately, while I have made it a habit to attend my boxing classes each week, I have slacked off in the strength training department--which is typically a highlight for me. I CAN'T STAND the thought of losing muscle, or of not lifting weights. I love it. But it seems that weight training is an afterthought at la boxing--and I've found it an unpleasant space to train in.

SO, as I have a handful of other times in my life when prepping for something exciting (like a wedding! or a baby!) I am pulling out the cash in order for someone else to push me in ways that I don't want to push myself. Personal training is where results are made. I'm lucky that I have a body that responds well to weight lifting--for me, it's one of the most rewarding forms of exercise.

What's your favorite form of activity?

I'm so glad it's a new week, I love a clean slate!

This Week's Score: D+

Cardio: A

Weight Watchers: A

Strength Training: F

Baby Feet

Yes, please.

IF I decide to get pregnant again soon, and IF the baby happens to be a girl... THEN I want these curtains for her nursery:

I love the girly ruffles at the bottom, and the otherwise sheer, dreamy texture of the linen fabric. If you haven't visited Layla Grace in a while, you should check out their lovely selection of home decor, I think so much of it would look perfect in a nursery.

They have a great children's section too.

(And just because I'm so excited about the prospect of a little girl, I'll probably have another boy!)