When we first decided to stage a sleep intervention, our primary goal was to improve the quality and quantity of Roscoe's sleep in any way we could. The No Cry Sleep Solution has been my handy reference ever since.
For babies like Roscoe, who wake frequently during each sleep cycle, a trick we read in the NCSS is to intervene with whatever means typically used to soothe the baby (nursing, pacifier, etc.) just before he wakes up in an effort to prevent him from fully waking--now I always have an ear out for the smallest little squeak or rustle, and I've perfected my sprint on tip-toe between his room and ours, which is connected by a long hall. We found that pushing the white-noise button on his swing usually does the trick. As the theory goes, the baby will become accustomed to sleeping for longer intervals and will eventually do so without any intervention. I definitely see this happening at night, but his nap time sleep still requires a lot of button pushing.
Roscoe's naps are much more predictable and he's naturally gravitated toward a schedule of two naps a day, one each at 9:00 and 1:00. Consistent nap times not only offer great structure to the day, but they are a sanity saver since I can count on having a specified chunk of time to get out of the house without worry over disrupting his routine.
Thankfully, putting Roscoe to sleep is no longer a struggle. Gone are the days of efforts greater than two hours to convince him to sleep. I'm more effective at reading his "I'm sleepy" cues, and we've created a calm predictable routine that lets him know that it's time to wind down and prepare for sleep. A big (and awesome) improvement is that he no longer needs to be nursed to sleep. Nursing is often the last step to our routine, but most of the time he is awake or drowsy when I transfer him to the swing. With a better appreciation for timing, there is little to no fussing involved.
For now, Roscoe takes his naps and sleeps during the night in his swing. Luckily, we didn't have to transition to this arrangement because he was already comfortable sleeping in his swing during nap time. Andy and I have changed our sleeping arrangements as well, and we're currently camped out in our guest bedroom, which is next-door to the nursery, in order to be closer to Roscoe. We also hooked up our baby monitor to help decrease our response time. While I miss my baby's body curled next to mine, and the little dance he does with his toes on my belly, I don't mind the chance to share a bed just with Andy, or to sleep on my back again.
His night wakes have improved dramatically from once every hour and a half to once every 3 to 4 hours, and the past two nights he woke only twice: once at 11:30 and once at 3:30. Andy and I have been side eying each other over this all day. We don't want to get too excited, but this is pretty major!
Overall, Roscoe logs about 13 hours of night and nap sleep, which still falls about an hour short of the range for his age. And he does continue to stir frequently, but I no longer nurse him at every transition--hurray!--and with the help of the button (which isn't needed all the time) he is getting better at falling back to sleep on his own.
In addition to a new sleep routine, we now feed him solids after he wakes from each nap. This gives me a small break, since other people can feed him, and it ensures he gets a larger (hopefully more satisfying) milk meal when he does nurse. Amazingly, in less than three weeks he actually gained 2 pounds which is a big deal for him considering his average weight gain has been about one pound/month since birth.
Most importantly, Roscoe seems much happier. His attention span is greater, and he doesn't require constant cajoling or distraction. He seems to have more energy to invest in reaching milestones, and giggling. I do feel like we've accomplished a lot and I am proud that my effort has made such an impact. Despite feeling miserable much of the time, the payoff is worth it.
Of course, there is still room for improvement so looking to the next 10 days we're going to focus on being even more consistent with a formal nap and bedtime routine, work on transitioning Roscoe from the swing to his crib (because at 7.5 months, his mobility poses a safety hazard), and eliminating the button pushing.
I can't say that Andy and I feel like new yet, but our hopes are high and our fingers are crossed for more zzzzzzzzz's.
December 28, 2009
December 26, 2009
Roscoe's 1st Christmas
Christmas Eve began with a visit to the North Pole. Roscoe happily sat on Santa's lap, and intently picked at the furry trim of his coat in between shots. Later that night, donning his christmas pjs, Roscoe and Poppa read some new books while I made batches of eggnog, irish cream, and chocolate cookies. My family joined us at our place after dark and brought with them a lasagna dinner that we enjoyed under the hush of a sleeping Roscoe.
After everyone was gone, Andy and I got to work. We tip-toed around by the light of the tree, strategically placed Roscoe's gifts, filled his stocking with goodies, and left telltale crumbs in place of the cookies we had set out earlier.
The magic of Christmas is back!
We went to bed with visions of sugar plums, and enjoyed three uninterrupted hours of sleep before I heard my name wailed through the dark. Roscoe slept in 3-hour intervals all night, which was a welcome gift.
By 6:00 am we were digging into our stockings, and helping Roscoe to open his gifts. We gave Roscoe a few fun things--a drum, a set of blocks, a puzzle, and a hedgehog push toy. He taste-tested each one and seemed to approve.
It is so much fun to see him play with toys that are not stuffed and don't squeak--suddenly, he seems so much older, more capable. Now we know the fun is just beginning.
After a pitifully short nap, we left for my parent's house where we gorged on breakfast foods galore, and indulged in Christmas number two. Highlights for Roscoe included a five-foot tall giraffe (just ¾ of an inch shorter than me!!), a wagon, and a beautiful quilt designed and sewn just for him by his Grandma—it’s the sweetest blankie I could have imagined with a monkey theme that fits Roscoe perfectly. I lucked out with a massage, and a few other really nice surprises.
He was immediately in love with his Giraffe, as were we!
Roscoe gave Grandma a special plate we made together a few months ago:
Back at home we lounged and waited for Roscoe’s Tippy and Poppa to arrive. We were lucky to have door-to-door service twice this year which made the Holiday completely relaxing—they brought all the fixings for a yummy brunch which we hurried to finish as Roscoe showed signs of getting tired. The Click Clack Ball Track they gave to Roscoe was an immediate hit and offers hours of future fun. He watches the balls intently now and tries to touch them as they roll down the track. It won’t be long before he’s putting the balls at Start on his own.
Andy's dad is an avid photographer and every year he puts together and dedicates to his grandsons a bound book of his favorite photos. In addition, this year he helped Andy's Nan create a memoir of her life which we read together snuggled in bed as Christmas day was winding down. As always, the sentimental and personal gifts are the best ones.
Roscoe brought an extra sparkle to our Christmas festivities this year. He brings us so much joy. I can only guess at how rich the holidays will become as our family grows. Roscoe made out like a little bandit, and we got a taste of what fun it is to bring holidays that are full of magic and surprise.
Christmas Giggles
Chloe loves to unwrap things. We've always found her to be entertaining, but this year she had a captive audience:
Does the sound of a baby's belly laughs ever get old? I hope not.
December 25, 2009
December 23, 2009
Silent Night
I wish this post was about how Roscoe miraculously slept through the night. Instead, it is about how he did just the opposite.
Running on 2 or 3 hours of sleep Wednesday morning, I canceled the Nanny, demanded that Andy stay home to help me, and then turned to begin a full days work. I felt like I had hit bottom.
As things go in parenting, "it's not a problem, unless you think it's a problem."
Your kid will sleep only if he's nursed to dreamland? You love the quality time? Thumbs Up!! Your kid demands to be held at all times? You're more than happy to drop everything and tote the little one? Lucky babe! Your kid wakes every hour during the night? Your eyes are burning, your patience is whittled, and you can no longer function as a human being? Understood.
A good piece of advice (parenting or otherwise): if you don't like it, change it.
So we implemented change, and I'm happy to report that progress is being made. But the effort is all-consuming. In fact, I literally have not left the house since last Thursday. SIX DAYS AGO. We did have a snowstorm over the weekend, which accounts for 2.5 days of shut-in, but the rest are a result of an attempt to determine what Roscoe's sleep needs truly are, when distractions like traveling or outings are absent.
For the time being, Roscoe sleeps in the swing in his room for naps and night sleep. I have a philosophy about bed sharing, and I feel that it's being compromised. If all was going well, my preference would be for Roscoe to sleep with us. I also have a philosophy about crying, and I feel that it, too, is being compromised. I'm not talking cry-it-out here, I'm just saying that in an effort to differentiate his needs, he is sometimes left to cry longer than I would like.
The emotional aspect of this whole fiasco is way more than I could have guessed. There's nothing like knowing what your child needs and not being able to provide it or, in this case, coax it into fruition on a reasonable timetable. We're dealing with sleep here, which cannot come fast enough. And the reality is that while Andy is a willing and engaged Poppa, Roscoe's sleeping and eating needs disproportionately demand more of Momma. The demands are persistent, around the clock, and I just can't catch a break. Showering? Gyming? Brushing my teeth? Not happening. Well, maybe every other day, and it's the very last thing I find time to do before my head hits the pillow.
I've been reduced to a ball of stress, anger, exhaustion, and self pity. It's difficult to share our sleep troubles with parenting "values" on one hand, and a long list of complaints on the other. Without sounding like a martyr, I know that I made this bed (no pun intended) with my parenting choices. And hopefully, when Roscoe learns how to sleep better we will be able to go back to what once worked.
When Andy looks me in the eye and says, "I want to make it through parenting without getting a divorce." I know why I married him. And I also get that I'm stretching myself so thin that I'm ready to break.
After the night of no sleep, discouraged doesn't quite describe the way we were feeling.
we suck.
Now that sounds about right.
Parenting FAIL.
Also applicable.
I was this close to grabbing Roscoe and tucking him back into bed with us.
But then we decided to be rational. We chose to communicate and we decided to make a list--lists always make things better, right?! We broke down the ways that Roscoe used to fall asleep, the duration of his naps, the number of hours he slept, and compared them to where he is now a little less than 2 weeks later and we couldn't help but pat ourselves on the back because actually, there is improvement in every area except between the hours of 11pm and 7am (the hours during which Andy and I are trying to sleep, of course).
Yes, in a lot of ways we feel worse than we did before we started this experiment. But we should have known that things would get worse before they got better. We'll have a more scientific analysis of Roscoe's sleep, and more quantifiable results after the Christmas festivities have ended. In the meantime, we will continue with our crusade and apologize to our family and friends--who haven't seen or heard from us in weeks.
Running on 2 or 3 hours of sleep Wednesday morning, I canceled the Nanny, demanded that Andy stay home to help me, and then turned to begin a full days work. I felt like I had hit bottom.
As things go in parenting, "it's not a problem, unless you think it's a problem."
Your kid will sleep only if he's nursed to dreamland? You love the quality time? Thumbs Up!! Your kid demands to be held at all times? You're more than happy to drop everything and tote the little one? Lucky babe! Your kid wakes every hour during the night? Your eyes are burning, your patience is whittled, and you can no longer function as a human being? Understood.
A good piece of advice (parenting or otherwise): if you don't like it, change it.
So we implemented change, and I'm happy to report that progress is being made. But the effort is all-consuming. In fact, I literally have not left the house since last Thursday. SIX DAYS AGO. We did have a snowstorm over the weekend, which accounts for 2.5 days of shut-in, but the rest are a result of an attempt to determine what Roscoe's sleep needs truly are, when distractions like traveling or outings are absent.
For the time being, Roscoe sleeps in the swing in his room for naps and night sleep. I have a philosophy about bed sharing, and I feel that it's being compromised. If all was going well, my preference would be for Roscoe to sleep with us. I also have a philosophy about crying, and I feel that it, too, is being compromised. I'm not talking cry-it-out here, I'm just saying that in an effort to differentiate his needs, he is sometimes left to cry longer than I would like.
The emotional aspect of this whole fiasco is way more than I could have guessed. There's nothing like knowing what your child needs and not being able to provide it or, in this case, coax it into fruition on a reasonable timetable. We're dealing with sleep here, which cannot come fast enough. And the reality is that while Andy is a willing and engaged Poppa, Roscoe's sleeping and eating needs disproportionately demand more of Momma. The demands are persistent, around the clock, and I just can't catch a break. Showering? Gyming? Brushing my teeth? Not happening. Well, maybe every other day, and it's the very last thing I find time to do before my head hits the pillow.
I've been reduced to a ball of stress, anger, exhaustion, and self pity. It's difficult to share our sleep troubles with parenting "values" on one hand, and a long list of complaints on the other. Without sounding like a martyr, I know that I made this bed (no pun intended) with my parenting choices. And hopefully, when Roscoe learns how to sleep better we will be able to go back to what once worked.
When Andy looks me in the eye and says, "I want to make it through parenting without getting a divorce." I know why I married him. And I also get that I'm stretching myself so thin that I'm ready to break.
After the night of no sleep, discouraged doesn't quite describe the way we were feeling.
we suck.
Now that sounds about right.
Parenting FAIL.
Also applicable.
I was this close to grabbing Roscoe and tucking him back into bed with us.
But then we decided to be rational. We chose to communicate and we decided to make a list--lists always make things better, right?! We broke down the ways that Roscoe used to fall asleep, the duration of his naps, the number of hours he slept, and compared them to where he is now a little less than 2 weeks later and we couldn't help but pat ourselves on the back because actually, there is improvement in every area except between the hours of 11pm and 7am (the hours during which Andy and I are trying to sleep, of course).
Yes, in a lot of ways we feel worse than we did before we started this experiment. But we should have known that things would get worse before they got better. We'll have a more scientific analysis of Roscoe's sleep, and more quantifiable results after the Christmas festivities have ended. In the meantime, we will continue with our crusade and apologize to our family and friends--who haven't seen or heard from us in weeks.
December 21, 2009
Happy Happy Holiday!!
Last night I sent a letter to the brokerage company explaining the context of the maternity rider situation. This morning at 11:00 I got a phone call from the owner stating that he was able to circumvent the system, and will facilitate the addition of the rider to my policy as long as I retroactively pay for the months of November and December. This also means that I'm covered retroactively and we could get pregnant as early as May--not that we will!
What a relief! And I didn't have to expend nearly as much time or energy as I thought I might.
What a relief! And I didn't have to expend nearly as much time or energy as I thought I might.
December 20, 2009
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